Hollow

"Being miserable doesn't make you better than everyone else, it just makes you miserable."

For a while I almost felt again, but it was different, like feeling something across a great distance.

Close up all it seems to be is a broken feeling and a lacking moment. And all I can feel is that brokeness.

Some people just can't be fixed.

To fall so far and learn nothing, that is my failing and it rests with me and me alone. The burden is mine. And you may think me made of stone, but I am not afraid to cry at what I see when I look within myself. I have nothing to fear in there.

As for outside of myself, I don't think there is anything left to fear.

What a man experiences, whether he takes his lessons or not, all comes to nothing anyway. I may as well cut out the time and live as nothing just as I'll die as nothing.

Though sometimes I lie awake at night wishing I had someone to talk to, to hold, to make me feel more than empty, to make me feel worthwhile, needed, loved.

But men are often defeated by their dreams. When all hope is departed, what is left?


(I apologise, I'm cryptic and talk in riddles when I'm depressed. Don't try to understand if you don't.)