Anywhere.

That girl is a disease. Those who fall in love with her (as everybody does it seems as it's so easy) compromise themselves when they're with her. They become people they are not, they force themselves closer to her until she is the defining thing about them. And they allow this! They let her define them. And what happens to them in the end? She destroys them, she cuts them down and turns them free. But since they've forgotten themselves in her embrace all they see in the world is her and all they feel is her absence.

She's left a trail of merciless heartbreak. Yet I admire her.

She was always true to herself, she let men grow close to her as she in turn grew close to them. But in the end when she broke their hearts it was always in order to follow her own.

It's not her I don't like it's the whining puppydogs that pine after her or the ones that follow her when they are in favour. Human beings are more independent than that. Love her, let her love you but for gods sake leave her be.

As for me, emotions are empty and dangerous so I refrain from them. Well not the fun ones ;)

Update and ramblings

So it's been a while since I updated. Figured I might as well.

I intended that this blog be an outlet for my emotions or moods or whatever else I happened to be feeling. But lately I've not had a lot to vent about. That isn't to say everything has been great, or even good, things have been uneventful I suppose. Perhaps just uninteresting to outsiders.

Not a lot has changed. I suppose I've met a few new people, made a few new "friends", I use the term loosely as to me people are all expendable in some way or another. I'm still not sleeping well but the nightmares are less frequent. It's the dreams that disturb me in sleep now. Dreams are always worse, where they are not weird of course.

I'm looking forward to returning home for the Easter holidays. There are certain things I miss. I miss my cat (though i've found when I do go home I quickly grow tired of him) and I miss Gareth (though I only see him slightly more often when I'm at home). I also miss the countryside itself, the city is interesting enough but sometimes it's nice to look out of your window and hear nothing but the wind and the birds in the trees, or to see no people just green landscapes stretching into valleys, rivers and fields. I used to go for walks in the countryside, I'd stay out until just after dusk when the bats would come out. If I were to stay out until just after dusk here in the city, all that would immerge would be crackheads and drunken idiots.

Though I suppose when you live in the city you long for the peace of the countryside and when you live in the countryside you miss the hustle and bustle of the city. Never anything to do in the country, far too much to do in the city. No human can appreciate what they have, I know if I did I'd just try to spoil it. Only happy when I'm miserable :P