Hello...

...my name is Matt Mather but you can call me Row. I'm 22, a Leo, I enjoy walks in the dark, drawing and bashing my head repeatedly against my desk until I draw blood.

I mean BLOODY ODDS BODKINS!!!

My life is fucking clown shoes! And I'm the one who makes it so. I, like everybody else am doomed to repeat the same cycle of events again and again until I give up and tape my eyelids shut, hide in the cupboard under the stairs and quietly sing Gloomy Sunday to myself.

...Ok so that last one was probably exclusive to me but we all repeat the same tired crap over and over again.

Hills and valleys, peaks and troughs, a whole jolly pirate rollarcoaster without anything nearly as interesting as pirates. That's life isn't it and life isn't fair. I hear that a lot, I mean it's the standard response when you make any form of complaint or comment about how much life sucks. What a startlingly useful bit of wisdom that is!

I hate me, I'm a horrible excuse for a human being. Which is one of the reasons I sabotage my own life and push most people away when I get the chance. So I shouldn't complain really, it's my own fault. But all the same, I hate my life and I hate being me.

Hello, I'm Matt Mather. That is my crime, it is also my punishment.


{I'm a whiney little brat sometimes aren't I? :P}

Design Issues

I need to give this page a revamp, looking at it is starting to depress me.

Maybe I should go for the total opposite and have bright colours and smiley faces all over it or something.

Ah who the hell cares, no-one comes here anyway :P

Perception

Men idolise women. It's why sometimes we date the most atrocious people. And it's the main cause of why we get so hurt when a relationship ends. It's that sting of realising she's not a goddess or an angel, she's a human being as real and ugly as we are.

A friend of mine whilst he was going through a particularly bad breakup (so we'll allow him some bitterness) put it this way:

"2% of the time women are the most wonderful and beautiful people on Earth. However the other 98% of the time they can be unreasonable, irratable, unpleasant and cruel. But it's the 2% that we fall in love with and that 2% is all we see then. Love makes you blind to the ugly parts of a person."

And in my dim view of humanity, the ugly parts make up the majority of a whole.


Are women more cruel than men when it comes to breaking hearts? I don't think so, they're just better at distancing themselves emotionally in order to do what must be done. Men find it hard to distance themselves from anything they have any emotional investment in. Other than sex of course. This gives rise to the phrase,

"Men are prone to casual sex, women are prone to casual love."


Can a relationship last if neither party idolises and puts the other on a pedastal? If when they look at each other they see another human, warts and all?
It seems unlikely. People continue to fall in love and rave about how perfect this person is, or how wonderful.

Nobody is perfect.

Nobody is wonderful.

When we think that way we are only setting ourselves up for a disappointing fall and in some cases, heartbreak.

Look beyond the wings and the halo and see the human. The reality may be no match for the legend but at least it's honest. Afterall once the dream fades, all we're left with is the reality.