Saturday, January 17, 2009

I caught sight of my reflection...

...I caught it in the window.
I saw the darkness in my heart.
I saw the signs of my undoing,
they had been there from the start.



A long while ago I set off down a path and started to become something I thought I wanted to be. I've travelled down this road so far I don't think it's possible to turn back. I've finally become the person I set out to be.

But now that I've reached my destination I realise that I don't want to be here. I don't want to be the man I've become. All this path will bring me is misery and lonliness and yet I knew that when I set out on the journey. I guess I was so in love with this narcissistic image of myself as the "loner" that I was willing to sacrifice everything. Now I have, congratulations Row, well done.

This isn't the post I promised, that "life update" is yet to come. It seems pointless now, to descibe my life would sink the final nail into the coffin of hope. I need to remember who I was but there's no one left to remind me, I doubt there's anyone left who even remembers.

Did I have a heart?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

*snuggles*

Unknown said...

I vote you did have a heart. At least, that's what I think. I remember a Row who had a big heart.
*canuck hugs*
Remember - if you ever need an escape I have a Canadian couch that is always willing to take visitors. And little girls that like new Uncles with funny accents.