I gave in...

...I shaved. The comedy wasn't worth the stigma.

Just when I was starting to feel good about myself my depression starts to get the better of me. It's always the way, I can't help it either. I've struggled for the longest time with manic depression, it's not a case of not letting it get to you because it does, no matter what. Unless I go back on the meds of course, to which I refuse.

There's no-one I can really talk to about everything. I never feel right bothering anyone with my problems or my feelings. Sometimes all I want is someone to hold me close and tell me everything will be ok, that I'm loved.

I always blame myself for however I feel. It's my fault if I don't/won't feel better.


Still having nightmares. Those aren't as bad as the dreams though. But that's a story for another time.